An inner vow is a binding promise we make to ourselves as a way to guard or protect ourselves from difficult, frustrating, and/or hurtful people* or  situations we face.  

• Negative past experiences provide us with opportunities to learn from God the important lessons of life, which may include self-care and the establishing and upholding of healthy boundaries with others. But they can also become the breeding ground for inner vows, if we step out of our God-given call to control ourselves (self-control), and instead try to control people and situations. The inner vows you make will direct, in preset ways, albeit in ungodly ways, how we respond in the present and future to similar people and situations.

• Inner vows often includes the words "always" ("I will always...") or "never" ("I will never..."). They also include the word "I" because it is the personal decision made exclusively based on relying on self (self-effort) to deal with the issues rather than reliance on God. 

• It is a personal decision, rooted in pride, to take on the responsibility to protect ourselves as if "it is all up to me." It says, "God, if you can't, then I will." It is foolishness to think "I" can do better than God. You will end up carrying a weight too heavy for any human to carry. 

• "Inner vows cause 'auto-pilot' reactions such as flight or fight responses to painful situations." - Erica Ord

• Inner vows are birthed from bitter root judgments we have made  about a person (or groups of people) or a situation, as if these could never, ever change again. We would hate to ever be treated that way, so why would we do it to others? In this judgment, we are placing ourselves in the judgment seat of the all-knowing God—as if we know everything past, present, and future. A lie from the pit of hell!

• The making of inner vows are a reflection of the lack of trust we have in God to protect us; it is a statement that reflects our deceived perception of God as impotent to be able to bring about change in hurting/hurtful people and in challenging situations.  

• "Inner vows are misguided attempts to avoid repeating behaviors we reject or dislike in others or to avoid situations that we hate or fear (Such as: 'I'll never speak in public again!' or 'I'll never become a drunk like my father!'). They can be a way of trying to break generational patterns or correct our behavior in our own strength... the vow inadvertently puts all the burden of transformation on self  instead of upon the Lord and therefore blocks the one who vowed from being able to receive the grace (God's help) needed to overcome the behavior." - Healing Streams

• "When we do that, we are not allowing the Lord to be our strong protector, defender, and refuge (Psalm 46:1). He will never override our free will. He will step back and let us see how our self-protection strategies work (or rather don’t work)." - Anonymous

• "Because of the binding nature of vows and the power of the will, this is not a problem the person will eventually grow out of, even if the original vow has been long since forgotten. Until these vows are broken and the person is loosed from them, they will always find difficulty in experiencing total surrender to the Lordship of Christ." - Anonymous

• Making inner vows cause a barrier to be erected, a wall of self-protection, that keep us safely away—but relationally distant— from God and others. 

• "Inner vows are like contracts or promises we make about ourselves. Inner vows will come to pass – whether they were intentional or not, remembered or not, voiced out or not. They represent us choosing our will over God’s and need to be revoked before we can experience the fullness of the Holy Spirit." - Jennifer Sum

• "In the midst of pain and suffering, however, we may make declarations about ourselves in an effort to avoid suffering in the future. Such inner vows, even the ones that sound positive, will stop us from submitting to God’s greater plans and blessings for us. We end up setting a trap for our souls through our own vows." - Jennifer Sum

• "Inner vows cause our hearts to become hostages to our past, even if our circumstances have changed drastically. Our souls cannot truly be free to follow Christ... They continue to work in our subconscious minds, long after our conscious minds have stopped thinking about them. They typically bring stress and block peace. If we notice that we feel 'torn' and our souls struggle to follow God, it might be worth asking the Holy Spirit to reveal if we have ever made inner vows that shut God out of some areas of our lives." - Jennifer Sum

• "You have also heard that our ancestors were told, 'You must not break your vows; you must carry out the vows you make to the Lord.' But I say, do not make any vows!... Just say a simple, 'Yes, I will, or 'No, I won't.'  Anything beyond this is from the evil one." - Matthew 5:33-37 NLT

• “Or suppose you make a foolish vow of any kind, whether its purpose is for good or for bad. When you realize its foolishness, you must admit your guilt." - Leviticus 5:4 NLT

• "Come now, You who say, 'Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit' — yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring… Instead, you ought to say, 'If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that.'” - James 4:13-15 ESV

• "Don’t trap yourself by making a rash promise to God and only later counting the cost." -  Proverbs 20:25 NLT  |  "Be careful in making a rash promise before God, or you may be trapped by your vow and live to regret it." -  Proverbs 20:25 TPT

• "But above all, my brothers, do not swear, either by heaven or by earth or by any other oath... so that you may not fall under condemnation." - James 5:12 ESV

• "Words kill, words give life; they’re either poison or fruit—you choose." - Proverbs 18:21 MSG

• "For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned." - Matthew 12:37 ESV

• "You can rationalize it all you want and justify the path of error you have chosen, but you’ll find out in the end that you took the road to destruction." - Proverbs 14:12 TPT 

• "I know, Lord, that a person’s way of life is not his own; no one who walks determines his own steps." - Jeremiah 10:23 CSB

• "Thus says the Lord:  'Cursed is the man who trusts in man and makes flesh his strength, whose heart turns away from the Lord.'” - Jeremiah 17:5 ESV

• "We are human, but we don’t wage war as humans do. We use God’s mighty weapons, not worldly weapons, to knock down the strongholds of human reasoning and to destroy false arguments. We destroy every proud obstacle that keeps people from knowing God. We capture their rebellious thoughts and teach them to obey Christ." - 2 Corinthians 10:3-5 NLT

• “Flesh gives birth to flesh, but the Spirit gives birth to spirit.” - ‭‭John‬ ‭3:6‬ ‭NIV‬‬  |   “Humans can reproduce only human life, but the Holy Spirit gives birth to spiritual life.” - ‭‭John‬ ‭3:6‬ ‭NLT

• "I’ll give you a new heart, put a new spirit in you. I’ll remove the stone heart from your body and replace it with a heart that’s God-willed, not self-willed." - Ezekiel 36:26 MSG  

• PDF: Common Inner Vows