The Four Core Experiences
Key targets in discipleship for growing disciples who enjoy and follow Jesus
a discipleship focus informed by Kirk Freeman
a discipleship focus informed by Kirk Freeman
Friendship and communication are a beautiful part of what it means to be made in God’s image. We were created for relationship—with God and with one another—and relationships grow through talking and listening.
That’s why these four experiences matter so much. They are the irreducible minimums of spiritual communication—the basic “building blocks” of a living relationship with Jesus. When these experiences are practiced consistently, disciples don’t just learn about Jesus; they learn to relate to Him as a Person—to recognize His voice, sense His nearness, know His will, and receive His comfort and encouragement for themselves individually and for others.
When we neglect these experiences, we inevitably begin to de-personalize our relationship with Jesus. And when Jesus becomes impersonal, we stop enjoying Him—and if we don’t enjoy Him, we won’t keep following Him when life gets hard.
These four experiences also reflect the two great directions of discipleship:
Vertical (with Jesus):
Listening to the Lord
Talking with the Lord
Horizontal (with others):
Listening to the Lord for loving others
Talking with others about the Lord
Jesus designed us for kingdom significance—to bless others and to join Him in loving people. The more we enjoy Jesus through these experiences, the deeper and richer our relationship becomes. And it won’t stop growing deeper—because we’re going to enjoy Him forever, together, in loving communion with Him and with His people.
What it is: Learning to hear and obey Jesus through Scripture as the primary and safest training ground.
Why it matters: Discipleship begins with receiving—humble attention to what God has said and is saying, so we can trust Him, know His ways, and follow His lead (not just our feelings or impulses). Listening reshapes our beliefs, desires, and decisions.
Starting Point Practice: Discovery Bible Study (DBS) - A simple, reproducible way to practice listening to Jesus in His Word—together. - This forms disciples who don’t just consume content—they respond to Jesus.
What it is: Relational prayer—speaking with God honestly, frequently, and personally.
Why it matters: Prayer keeps the relationship warm. It cultivates dependence, trust, gratitude, confession, worship, and bold asking. Talking with God protects us from a “silent Christianity” where we know truths but don’t actually interact with Him.
Starting Point Practice: Discovery Prayer - Simple, relational, and group-friendly. - This forms disciples who treat God as Father and Friend—not a distant concept.
What it is: Learning to receive Jesus’ guidance and heart for the sake of someone else’s good.
Why it matters: Love requires attentiveness. As disciples mature, Jesus trains us to notice people, discern what builds them up, and respond with Spirit-led kindness, wisdom, and courage. This moves disciples from private spirituality to relational ministry and mission.
Starting Point Practice: Listening to Jesus for Others - A simple rhythm in pairs/small groups - This forms disciples who love people on purpose and carry Jesus into relationships.
What it is: Natural, courageous, love-driven witness—speaking about Jesus in a way others can understand and respond to.
Why it matters: Discipleship is not complete until it becomes reproducible and outward-facing. Jesus intends that our enjoyment of Him overflows into invitation—so others can learn to enjoy and follow Him too.
Starting Point Practice: Prayer > Care > Share - A simple, sustainable pathway - This forms disciples who don’t argue people into the Kingdom—they love them toward it.
These aren’t “four boxes to check.” They are the core relational pathways by which disciples stay close to Jesus and become like Him:
We listen to Jesus (so we can know and follow Him faithfully)
We talk with Jesus (so we can relate and enjoy Him personally)
We listen for others (so we can love wisely and powerfully)
We speak to others (so others can meet Him too)
When these experiences are present, disciples remain personal, warm, resilient, and missional. When they’re absent, discipleship becomes informational, mechanical, and fragile.