C.O.U.P.L.E. – A Wife’s Need for Love
A practical guide for cultivating Christlike love, tenderness, and emotional connection in marriage
Acronym promoted by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs
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In Ephesians 5:33, God calls husbands to love their wives—not merely in words, but in ways that nurture her heart and create an environment where she can flourish. The acronym C.O.U.P.L.E., inspired by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs’ work in Love & Respect, summarizes six core ways wives typically experience love most deeply. This framework helps husbands understand their wife’s relational design and equips them to love in a way that reflects the tenderness and sacrificial heart of Christ.
Why COUPLE Matters
Why COUPLE Matters
It helps husbands love intentionally, not just instinctively.
It provides a shared language that strengthens communication.
It nurtures emotional safety, which is essential for intimacy.
It shapes a marriage culture of gentleness, patience, and honor.
It aligns marital love with the way Christ loves His Bride—with compassion, attentiveness, and unwavering faithfulness.
The Six Elements of COUPLE
The Six Elements of COUPLE
C — Closeness
C — Closeness
She wants to feel connected and loved.
A wife feels loved when her husband stays emotionally and relationally connected. She longs for togetherness—shared moments, affection, presence, and intentional time.
Biblical Insight: God designed marriage as a union of closeness: “The two shall become one flesh.” (Genesis 2:24)
Love moves toward, not away.
Practical ways husbands can show love: Sit next to her on the couch, reach out for her hand in public, or give a warm hug before leaving the house.
O — Openness
O — Openness
She wants to talk and share her feelings.
A wife thrives when her husband communicates openly. She wants honesty, transparency, and conversation that invites her into his inner world.
Biblical Insight: Scripture calls us to “speak the truth in love” (Ephesians 4:15) and to live without hiding from one another.
Openness builds trust.
Practical ways husbands can show love: Let her in on what you’re thinking—share a worry, a hope, or something that made you laugh during the day.
U — Understanding
U — Understanding
She wants to be heard with patience and compassion.
A wife longs to be heard—not fixed, minimized, or dismissed. Love listens patiently and seeks to understand her heart, emotions, and perspective.
Biblical Insight: Husbands are called to “live with your wives in an understanding way” (1 Peter 3:7). Understanding is an act of honor.
Practical ways husbands can show love: Listen all the way through before responding, and show her you heard her by reflecting back what stood out to you.
P — Peacemaking
P — Peacemaking
She wants him to resolve and forgive conflicts.
A wife feels loved when conflict is handled with humility and reconciliation. She desires peace, not avoidance—and restoration, not winning arguments.
Biblical Insight: Jesus blesses peacemakers (Matthew 5:9) and calls couples to forgive one another as Christ forgave us (Colossians 3:13).
Practical ways husbands can show love: Be the first to break tension by saying, “Can we talk?” or “I care more about us than about being right.”
L — Loyalty
L — Loyalty
She wants to know he is committed and devoted.
A wife needs to know she is deeply cherished, prioritized, and protected. She longs for a husband who is faithful in heart, mind, and actions.
Biblical Insight: Biblical love is covenantal: “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” (Hebrews 13:5) Loyal love creates emotional security.
Practical ways husbands can show love: Turn your attention toward her when someone attractive walks by, speak highly of her to others, and keep your promises.
E — Esteem
E — Esteem
She wants to be appreciated and encouraged.
A wife flourishes when she feels valued, affirmed, and appreciated. Words of encouragement, admiration, and honor speak life to her heart.
Biblical Insight: Scripture commands us to “encourage one another and build each other up.” (1 Thessalonians 5:11) Esteem reflects how Christ lifts and blesses His people.
Practical ways husbands can show love: Compliment her skills, thank her for specific things she does, and ask for her input when making decisions.
How C.O.U.P.L.E. Strengthens a Marriage
How C.O.U.P.L.E. Strengthens a Marriage
It creates a safe and nurturing emotional environment.
It helps husbands reflect Christlike love in practical ways.
It deepens intimacy through communication and compassion.
It fosters peace, trust, and long-term faithfulness.
It gives couples a shared framework to grow together with grace.
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