Building Block #1: JOY

Where Joy Comes From

1. Joy from God

• God created us to live in His joy: When we abide in Him, we experience His delight and presence.

• Scripture connects joy with God’s shining face: “In Your presence is fullness of joy” (Psalm 16:11).

• Jesus invites us into His joy: “I have told you this so that My joy may be in you and your joy may be complete” (John 15:11).

2. Joy from People

• God wired us to find joy in the presence of others. When someone looks at us with genuine delight, it activates the joy center in our brain.

• This joy is both physical and emotional, strengthening us and stabilizing our relationships.

How Joy Transforms Us

• Stability in Hardship: Joy enables us to endure suffering by staying connected to God and others. Like Jesus, who endured the cross “for the joy set before Him” (Hebrews 12:2), joy strengthens us through life’s challenges.

• A Secure Bond with God: Joy removes fear from our relationship with God. When we believe He delights in us, we grow in trust and love. “Perfect love casts out fear” (1 John 4:18).

• Identity Formation: Joy-filled relationships shape our sense of self. Knowing we are loved allows us to live authentically, without masks or fear.

• Belonging in Community: Joy-filled connections foster a deep sense of belonging, creating a safe and stable environment where spiritual growth thrives.

Joy in Discipleship

True discipleship means becoming the kind of person who instinctively reacts to the world as Jesus would. This transformation requires engaging both sides of the brain:

• Left brain: Processes knowledge, beliefs, and strategies.

• Right brain: Shapes relationships, emotions, and character.

Traditional discipleship methods often overemphasize left-brain activities like sermons, Bible studies, and structured practices. While these are valuable, they must be complemented by right-brain practices that build joy and relational connection. Without this integration, discipleship lacks the power to produce deep, heart-level change.

The Ripple Effect of Joy

• Joy is Contagious: A joyful person spreads energy and connection, creating an uplifting atmosphere.

• Joy Grows Through Relationships: The more we practice building joyful bonds, the more joy flourishes within us and our communities.

The Fruits of Joy in Community

When joy is cultivated intentionally, individuals and communities experience:

• Belonging: “I feel like I belong here.”

• Stability: “I feel grounded even when life is hard.”

• Identity: “It’s easier to be my true self.”

• Openness: “I feel free to share my heart with God and others.”

Conclusion

Joy is foundational to spiritual growth and transformation. It fuels our ability to form secure bonds, endure challenges, and grow into Christlike character. By cultivating joy-filled relationships in our lives and communities, we create an environment where lasting transformation can take root. In doing so, we reflect the joy of God’s presence and bring His love to a world desperately in need of it.

Building Block #2: HESED LOVE

The Hebrew word HESED can be used to describe what neuroscientists call attachment—relational attachment. This Hebrew word carries the sense of an enduring connection that brings life and all good things into a relationship. HESED is a kind and loyal care for the well-being of another—what we call enduring love. 

Our brains draw life from our strongest relational attachments to grow our character and develop our identity. Who we love shapes who we are. Character formation is the central task of the church. Our brains are designed to use our attachments to form our character.  

Attachment is the strongest force in the human brain. It is not an emotion, although we feel it strongly... it's what glues people together and little creatures to their parents. It produces an enduring care for the well-being of another. Attachment is a life-giving bond with no mechanism in the brain to unglue us... HESED attachments have real sticking power. Without strong relational attachments, our soil remains depleted of a nutrient that is essential for growing character. 

For our brain, identity develops through attachments. Joyful, secure attachments build a good brain. Fearful or weak attachments build a bad brain (a bad brain is an identity center that damages our relationships when we are upset). Character develops through relationships—HESED relationships—that can handle times when things go wrong. A secure HESED attachment can ride through storms and remain loving. Character in the brain is an expression of an identity that has grown strong and well. As Christians, we want an identity in our brain that looks like Jesus. 

Developments in modern brain science have made it clear that any model of transformation and character change must be anchored in the developments of a love bond with God and His people. 

Jesus emphasizes the role of attachment in discipleship... 

• “...Anyone who loves me will obey my teaching… Anyone who does not love me will not obey my teaching. “ - John 14:23-24 NIV

• “If you [really] love Me, you will keep and obey My commandment John 14:15 AMP  ~  “Loving Me empowers you to obey my commands.” - John 14:15 TPT

• “Those who accept my commandments and obey them are the ones who love me. And because they love me, my Father will love them. And I will love them and reveal myself to each of them.” - John 14:21 NLT

• “We love because He first loved us.” - 1 John 4:9 NIV

Love is the first step. We love Jesus, and we will obey. When we do not love Jesus, we will not obey. God’s love precedes and enables our love. Keeping His word is the result of loving Him, not the same as loving Him. A left-brain view of Jesus’ teaching would conclude that we need to choose to obey, and this will prove that we love Him. That is exactly backwards. If I want to obey Jesus, I need to focus on right-brain skills that help me love Him and receive His love. My behavior will then take care of itself. Our brains are designed to change us through love. Our loving attachment to Jesus forms our character. Our attachment to Jesus produces obedience. 

Exercises for Growing in HESED Love:

1. EXERCISES: Growing in Hesed Love for GOD

2. EXERCISES: Growing in Hesed love for PEOPLE

Building Block #3: GROUP INDENTITY

Group identity plays a crucial and overlooked role in transformation. Group identity forms our character. Identity formation is a big hole in spiritual transformation. Instead of focusing primarily on what we believe, group identity answers the questions, “As followers of Jesus, what kind of people are we?” “How do the people of God act?”

Here’s how the brain works: Through infancy and childhood, the brain is designed to develop individual identity through attachment to the parents and other caregivers. Around age twelve, the brain undergoes a structural change that balances individual identity with group identity. From this point on, our group identity is a key player in the formation of character. We are formed by our strongest attachments and the shared identity of our community. 

Our brains were designed to respond to group identity in order to help us act like “our people.” Our right brain contains the control center that interprets our group identity and uses it to shape our inner character… Every one-sixth of a second our right brain tries to answer the questions, “Who am I?” “How do my people act now?” If my control center is working smoothly, my circumstances are integrated with my group identity. I spontaneously act with joy and peace.  If my control center desynchronizes, I forget who I am and how to connect with those around me. I stop acting like myself. Even though I am a Christian, I stop acting like one. 

If I am not part of a high-joy hesed community with a strong group identity, I will not know how to change my behavior. My own willpower will be insufficient to prevent me from acting in non-Christian ways. 

Group identity has the power to change character because it operates in the fast-track on the right spot of the brain. Our automatic responses to distress (faster than conscious thought) can be trained by our group identity. Our instantaneous reactions to life’s circumstances (some which result in non-Christian behavior) can be transformed by having a joyful hesed community that has a well-developed group identity based in the character of Jesus. 

We define character as our embedded automatic responses to our relational environment, our instantaneous behavior that flows naturally from our heart. Character is revealed by how we act instinctively to our relational surroundings. As our group identity sinks into our hearts… we will naturally start exhibiting transformed character. Spontaneously. The people with whom we share joy, hesed, and belonging, change us. 

Our brains are wired to respond to group identity, but churches often do not give our brains what they need to transform us. Churches should build… a group identity around the character of Jesus.  An identity statement of believers should, “We are a people who get our group identity from the character of Jesus.”

• EXERCISES: Group Identity Exercises

Building Block #4: HEALTHY CORRECTION

When the relational soil of our community has been fortified with joy, hesed, and group identity, we really grow. But unfortunately, we find some "deformed vegetables" in our crops. The fourth building block of healthy soil corrects our group identity where it has broken down. Even with an abundant supply of relational joy, hesed, and group identity, we must be careful what we grow. We can live in joyful hesed and fail to act according to the character of Jesus. 

The fourth soil ingredient targets malfunctions. We need to be corrected at times. By training our people to correct each other through affirming our hesed and group identity, we grow what we were meant to grow - Christlike character. We refuse to be too nice. Instead, our correction is a loving affirmation to shine the character of Jesus more fully.  

• "All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, 1so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work." - 2 Timothy 3:16-17 NIV > Notice how Scripture does these things to us so that we become equipped to do every good work, which would also include doing "the teaching, rebuking, correcting, and training in righteousness," to others. 

In order to improve our behavior, we need to change our values and update our stored examples of how our people act. We cannot change our values directly. We must get them from our community, our group identity.  

I need a Christ-centered hesed community to help me act more like Jesus. This community must have people who are more mature than I, because I need to update my library with their better examples. I need to see other people living in alignment with God's kingdom in areas where my libraries have not yet been updated. I also need to hear about "our values" from my community, how we act in this world as followers of Jesus.