The Problem: Controlling Our Behavior Doesn't Always Transform Our Hearts
We all face moments when we must make firm decisions. When confronted with temptation, anger, or a misguided desire, we need to govern our behavior. But what happens when we successfully control a reaction, only to face the very same struggle a few days later? We may be developing the ability to control our actions without addressing what produces them.
Imagine our lives as a tree. Our reactions and decisions are the visible fruit. Our motivations, desires, and loves are part of the roots that produce that fruit. Self-governance helps us remove bad fruit when it appears. That decision matters and can prevent considerable harm. However, removing bad fruit doesn't necessarily transform the roots that produce it. If we don't address what's happening within us, the same fruit may continue to appear.
The process of spiritual formation invites us to work with Jesus at the root level. With the help of the Holy Spirit, we learn to recognize what fuels our reactions and open ourselves to His transforming work. But focusing only on the roots has its limitations, too. While we are still being transformed, impulses that require immediate attention will continue to arise. We cannot justify a harmful reaction by saying we're working on our inner lives. Our actions have consequences and can cause damage that a timely decision could have prevented. We need to address the fruit that appears today while allowing God to transform the roots that produce it.
Jesus taught that our fruit reveals what is in our hearts (Luke 6:43–45). He also reminded us that we cannot bear fruit on our own, but only by remaining in Him (John 15:4–5). We don't simply want to be a tree whose bad fruit must constantly be removed. We want to remain in Christ so that He transforms our lives from the roots and produces good fruit in us.
Two Emphases We Need to Integrate
In some Latin American contexts, greater emphasis is placed on self-governance: the ability to govern our behavior through firm, decisive choices. In certain American contexts, greater emphasis is placed on self-control as part of a gradual process of formation.
These emphases are not exclusive to either culture, but they help us recognize two important dimensions of discipleship. In Hebrew, we find the verb mashal, meaning to rule or exercise dominion. Proverbs 16:32 highlights the value of someone who governs their own spirit. In Greek, we find enkrateia, which expresses mastery over oneself, particularly over one's desires and impulses. Paul identifies self-control as a fruit of the Holy Spirit (Galatians 5:22–23).
Biblically, self-control and self-governance are not two separate virtues. The distinction we are exploring is practical: governing our responses in the moment and participating in the process through which God transforms our inner lives. We don't have to choose between governing our behavior and transforming our hearts. We need both, under the leadership of Jesus.
Two encounters in the Gospels help us understand why.
Peter: When a Firm Decision Needs Greater Understanding
We often think of Peter as an impulsive person. Yet he also demonstrated determination and the ability to make firm decisions. When Jesus approached Peter to wash his feet, Peter responded:“No, you shall never wash my feet.” (John 13:8 NIV). His reaction likely came from love and respect for his Master. Peter did not want Jesus to humble Himself before him.
Yet by acting according to his own understanding, Peter was resisting what Jesus wanted to do in that very moment. Jesus responded: “You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand.” (John 13:7 NIV) Peter was acting according to what he believed was right, but he was not responding to what Jesus was directing him to do. His love and determination were valuable, but his understanding was still limited.
Peter didn't simply need greater determination. He needed to learn to submit his own understanding to the direction of Jesus. His experience invites us to ask: Could we be defending something we believe is right while failing to recognize what Jesus wants to teach us in that very moment? Jesus was teaching Peter to see things differently. His Master's humility did not contradict His greatness; it revealed His character and purposes.
Here we discover something fundamental: we can have good intentions and make firm decisions while still needing Jesus to transform our understanding of what truly matters.
Mary: Decisions That Flow from a Heart Attentive to Jesus
Mary of Bethany offers another perspective. When she chose to sit at Jesus' feet and listen to Him, Martha questioned her decision. Mary remained there, and the account gives no indication that she tried to defend herself. Jesus Himself affirmed that she had chosen what was better (Luke 10:38–42).
Later, Mary poured expensive perfume on Jesus' feet. Although her action was criticized, Jesus revealed that it was connected to His burial (John 12:1–8). We don't know how much Mary understood about the significance of her actions. Nevertheless, her love and attentiveness to Jesus led her to make a decision that was deeply aligned with His purposes. Mary demonstrated more than determination. Her decisions reflected a sensitivity to what truly mattered to Jesus.
The contrast is revealing. Peter acted decisively but needed to learn to recognize what Jesus was doing. Mary also acted decisively, but her decisions reflected a heart attentive to Him. This doesn't mean Mary was perfect or that Peter lacked maturity. Both were learning to follow Jesus.
The lesson for us is that strengthening our ability to make decisions is not enough. We also need to cultivate a relationship with Jesus that transforms how we perceive and respond. The more we learn to be with Jesus, the more we can learn to recognize His heart and respond according to His purposes.
How Do These Dimensions Work Together in Everyday Life?
Imagine a man who constantly struggles with anger. Self-governance helps him stop himself from responding aggressively. That decision matters and can prevent considerable harm. But what happens next? Does he simply go on with his life until the next time he needs to control his anger?
The process of spiritual formation invites him to go deeper:
Why do I react this way?
What is happening in my heart?
What do I need to learn from Jesus so I can respond differently?
As he examines his inner life, he depends on the Holy Spirit to help him recognize what he cannot see on his own. He begins to identify the motivations and desires fueling his reactions. He may also discover competing loves that conflict with the way God is calling him to love. Perhaps he discovers that his anger is connected to his need to always be right. Or maybe he recognizes how much he depends on receiving the respect he believes he deserves.
Now he can bring these realities before Jesus and learn new ways of responding from Him. As he examines his heart and practices what Jesus teaches him, he opens himself to the transforming work of the Holy Spirit. Over time, God forms patience, humility, and love within him. When he faces another difficult situation, he has a new opportunity to put what he has learned into practice. If he fails, he can acknowledge the harm and seek to make things right. He can also return to Jesus and continue learning. The goal is not simply to control a reaction, but to allow God to transform what produces it.
We see this integration throughout Scripture. Romans 6:12–13 calls us not to let sin rule over our actions. Romans 12:2 calls us to be transformed by the renewing of our minds. And Philippians 2:12–13 reminds us that God works within us, shaping both our desires and our actions.
God is the One who transforms us, but we actively participate in that work. We respond to His direction as we learn to trust Him and practice what He teaches us. Over time, our minds are renewed and our loves are reordered. Our motives are purified, and our actions increasingly reflect the character of Jesus.
More Than Making Right Decisions: A Lifelong Posture
Here we arrive at a fundamental dimension of discipleship. The Christian life is not simply about making the right decisions at particular moments. It is also about cultivating a lifelong posture of attentiveness to Jesus and to what is happening within our own hearts. With the help of the Holy Spirit, we learn to recognize areas of our inner lives that still need transformation. We intentionally bring them into the presence of Jesus, allowing Him to work within us.
We don't wait until we are transformed to begin obeying. We respond to what Jesus is showing us today while remaining open to everything He still wants to teach us. We recognize that we will never know everything. There will always be more to learn about His heart and purposes.
This posture also transforms how we walk alongside others. We don't simply seek to teach people to make better decisions. We want to help them learn from Jesus for themselves. We walk together, examine our responses in light of His teachings, and encourage one another to practice what we are learning. In this way, each disciple learns to remain attentive to Jesus and continue growing under His leadership.
This is our lifelong posture: faithfully responding to what we already understand while remaining open to everything Jesus still wants to teach us and transform within us. As we spend time with Jesus, we learn to become increasingly like Him. As we are transformed, we learn to do as He did. In this way, we move toward the ultimate goal of living as Jesus lived, under His leadership and depending on His Spirit.
The goal is not simply to develop greater willpower. It is to become people whose thinking and actions increasingly reflect the character of Christ. We need to address today's fruit without neglecting the roots. And above all, we need to remain in Jesus, because He is the One who produces the fruit of a transformed life within us.