The Blame Game
The Oldest Game in the Book
Excerpts from book: The Key to Deep Change by Dr. Steven Smith
Excerpts from book: The Key to Deep Change by Dr. Steven Smith
One of the very oldest sins in the history of humankind, up there with distrust of God and of pride, is the blame game.
The Blame Game
We have to go back to the Garden story to find the genesis of this strategy. Adam and Even ate of the forbidden fruit. The die has now been cast. They changed instantly from loving, open partners to uneasy competitors... When God asks [them] obvious question, "Why?" Adam firmly owns up that the problem is someone else's fault... He chooses to put the blame on both God, who gave him Eve as a partner, and Eve herself... [Eve] follows Adam's lead. It was the snake who had done it.
“Who told you that you were naked?” the Lord God asked. “Have you eaten from the tree whose fruit I commanded you not to eat?” The man replied, “It was the woman you gave me who gave me the fruit, and I ate it.” Then the Lord God asked the woman, “What have you done?” “The serpent deceived me,” she replied. “That’s why I ate it.” - Genesis 3:11-13 ESV
... If you are human, you are already blaming someone else... You can go on blaming God or other people for your life... But please understand, that you will not only stay stuck in your situation, it will intensify as time passes... The blame game is a smoke screen keeping your eyes blinded to the way out. All it offers is a false comfort that you are not responsible.
Here's is the point you must accept that it is you that have made the life choices that make up your unfinished business. That what you have become, for good or ill, is the product of your decisions. You have to own the results instead of the painful parts as being wholly someone else's creation. David Benner... observed, "You must accept all parts of yourself before you can surrender them to God for healing and transformation.
So Ask Yourself:
How have I chosen to live as a result of what others or life has done for me?
Do I live in fear, defiance, rebellion, addiction, alienation, loneliness, disconnection, and with a goal of proving I am somebody?
Have I chosen to bury the past and deny the pain as my strategy for moving forward?
Have I developed habits that I use to mask the pain, even though they were unconsciously acquired?
Is someone the object of my anger and bitterness?
Can I even admit to myself that I have made these choices?
Do I have broken relationships in my life, people I cannot stand to be with due to their part in my pain?