Dr. Karl Lehman in his book Outsmarting Yourself presents the concept of the pain processing pathway. He indicates that there is a normal way for the brain to fully process or resolve a painful memory. Lehman cites these five steps as needed for this:

1. Maintaining Organized Attachment (secure attachment to primary caregiver & to God) - Maintain a strong, healthy bond to another person whom you feel is with you and for you. This helps you know that you are not alone. In Immanuel Prayer we experience Jesus as “God with us.” 

2. Staying Connected (to the experience) - Stay connected to the experience, even though the memory is painful. This means not fleeing, or disconnecting mentally or emotionally. In Immanuel Prayer we gain cognitive and emotional capacity to stay connected to the experience.

3. Staying Relational (open, transparent, attuned and connected to others) - Stay attuned and relationally connected to others. This includes acting like your true self, even though the pain is deep. In Immanuel Prayer, both the coach and Jesus facilitate and empower your ability to stay relationally engaged. 

4. Navigating the Situation in a Satisfying Way (in God-honoring ways based on His wisdom and guidance)  - Hold onto your true heart as the source of discernment and choices—even when you are dealing with difficult situations, you can allow yourself to face the pain with the intention to resolve the problem. This involves the part of the brain that the mind uses to discern “How do I handle this situation?” “How can I navigate this situation in a way that I will be satisfied with after it’s all over?” In Immanuel Prayer we are seeking His wisdom, guidance, and direction. We are asking Jesus what He wants us to do—what the next steps are.

5. Correctly Interpreting Meaning (seek God’s big-picture perspective of that experience) - Make sense of that experience and interpret its meaning with respect to your life. This is where you take a more positive perspective on the memory. In Immanuel Prayer we are letting Jesus speak His divine, big-picture perspective into our situation. 

Lehman teaches that after the painful memory is processed, the experience will produce knowledge, skills, empathy, wisdom, and maturity. The production of these things is the purpose behind your pain.