A Story That Reveals the Problem

A few years ago, my wife and I met a wonderful couple who shared a story that has stayed with me ever since. For many years, they had belonged to a healthy church they genuinely loved. They had close friendships, a strong sense of community, and faithful biblical teaching. They even had a pastor they deeply respected. Yet over time, a small group of friends within the church  — part of their small group community  —began sensing that something was missing. They longed to experience more of the active work of the Holy Spirit in the life of the church.

Rather than becoming critical, they approached their pastor with humility. Because of the trust and love they shared, he gave them his blessing to plant a new church in Southern California. They left with gratitude, not bitterness. Their desire was not to reject what they had received, but to build upon it and pursue something they believed was missing.

Several years later, while reflecting on the new church they had established, one of them shared what their core church planting group had come to realize: “We wanted to plant a church that was different from the one we came from. But after a few years, we looked around and realized we had created almost the exact same church.”   The longing had been genuine. Their desire for something different had been sincere. But when it came time to build, they naturally built according to what had shaped them.

They knew what they wanted to emphasize differently, but they had never developed a clear and compelling picture of the kind of people they were trying to form. Nor had they first learned, practiced, and embodied a different way of life deeply enough for it to become the culture they would naturally reproduce.

Without that clarity — and without first embodying a different way of life — they did not reproduce their aspirations. They reproduced their formation. They returned, not by intention but almost by instinct, to what they knew. The old quietly rebuilt itself.

Every Church Is Already Forming People

Their story reveals something larger than the challenges of one church plant. Every church is already forming people. Every church has a discipleship pathway, whether it has intentionally designed one or not.

Its gatherings, relationships, and leadership patterns are continually teaching people what the Christian life looks like. Its expectations, rhythms, and practices reinforce that vision day after day. Over time, these repeated patterns shape what people value and how they participate. They also shape what people expect from leaders and how they understand their own responsibility as followers of Jesus.

• A church may say that prayer matters, but its actual rhythms reveal how much room is truly made for prayer.

• It may affirm that every believer is called to minister, but its structures may train people primarily to receive ministry from professionals.

• It may speak frequently about community, yet organize most of church life around large gatherings where people can attend without being deeply known.

• It may emphasize discipleship while unintentionally training people to associate spiritual growth mainly with listening to sermons, completing studies, or participating in programs.

This does not mean that preaching, programs, or large gatherings are inherently wrong. Nor does it mean that trained leaders are unnecessary. Each can serve an important purpose. The deeper question is this: 

What kind of people is the whole life of the church actually forming?

The Hidden Power of Our Inherited Patterns

We naturally teach the way we were taught. We lead the way we were led. We disciple the way we were discipled. We are not necessarily trying to preserve everything from the past. We may sincerely desire renewal. We may adopt new language, create new ministries, or emphasize neglected truths. But unless our underlying way of life changes, the deepest patterns usually remain:

• A church can change its name while preserving its assumptions. 

• It can introduce new language while keeping the same culture.

• It can shift its discipleship program without changing the passive role people have learned to occupy.

• It can speak of multiplication while continuing to form people who depend heavily upon gifted leaders and centralized events.

Desire alone does not produce a new culture. Vision alone does not produce a new culture. A new culture must first become a new way of life.

Looking across Scripture, church life, and personal experience, I have become convinced that discipleship normally follows a simple pattern: 

People naturally reproduce the way of life that has most deeply formed them.

That is why changing a few methods is rarely enough. If the deeper pathway remains unchanged, it will continue producing the kind of people it was already designed to form.

We Are Not Captive to the Past

This should not lead us to hopelessness. We are not doomed to reproduce every pattern we inherited. By the grace of God, we can choose a different path. We can allow Jesus to challenge our assumptions, retrain our vision, and reshape our practices. We can pursue a way of life that may not have been fully modeled in our previous church experience.

But we cannot stop at admiring that new way. We must learn it. We must practice it. We must live it together until it becomes embodied.

People are shaped far less by what leaders hope to produce than by what those leaders and their communities consistently embody. We cannot intentionally form in others what has not first been intentionally formed in us through repeated practice.

This is why meaningful change in discipleship cannot begin merely with a new curriculum, a stronger vision statement, or more compelling church branding. It must reach into the actual lives of leaders and communities. Our way of life must change.

The Question Beneath Every Church Vision

Church leaders often ask important questions:

• What kind of church do we want to build?

• What will our church emphasize?

• What values will define us?

• What will make our ministry distinct?

These questions have their place. But they can easily drift toward personality, culture, or preference. Over time, they may also become shaped by branding. Discipleship belongs in a different category. It is not like designing a restaurant, where each owner creates a unique experience according to personal taste. Churches may differ in style, size, and structure. They may also differ in liturgy, culture, and expression. But the goal of Christian discipleship is not infinitely customizable.

Jesus did not invite His followers to invent their own vision of spiritual maturity. He gave them one. The goal is not to produce the kind of people we prefer. The goal is to form people in the likeness and lifestyle of Jesus.  If Jesus is the destination, then the pathway cannot be arbitrary. The practices, relationships, and rhythms we create must be capable of forming people toward that end. The environments we build must support that same purpose.

The Question We Must Ask First

Before we ask how to improve our discipleship programs, we must ask a more fundamental question. Before we ask how Jesus made disciples, we must first ask what He was seeking to form in them.

What kind of people was Jesus trying to form?

This question seems obvious, yet it is surprisingly absent from many conversations about discipleship. We often begin with strategies, curriculum, and programs. We may also focus on spiritual practices or leadership structures.  But methods only make sense in light of their intended outcome.

Unless we see the destination clearly, we cannot evaluate whether our present pathway is leading people there. We may spend years refining methods that faithfully reproduce results we never consciously intended.

Every church already has a discipleship pathway. Every church is already forming people. The question is not whether disciples are being formed. The question is:

What kind of disciples are our present pathways naturally producing?

Jesus never asked His followers to create their own definition of maturity. He showed them the life of the kingdom and called them to follow Him. So before we ask, “How did Jesus make disciples?”  we must first ask the more foundational question:

“What kind of people was Jesus trying to form?”

Only when the destination becomes unmistakably clear can we honestly evaluate whether our present pathway is leading people there.